Posts Tagged ‘kids’

Sensitivity Traininng Not Required.

July 13, 2011

He used to be so tough! He would fall flat on his face, get up, and keep running. Some punk toddler would shove him and he’d frown then walk away.

Now…he cries.

A lot.

He’s 6 and SOO sensitive I don’t know what to do.  Somebody looks at him funny and he gets his feelings hurt. I get upset when he asks for the 45th time if he can ride his bike…and he cries because I’m upset. He gets a paper cut and doesn’t cry about until I don’t notice that he has an infinitesimally tiny cut on his finger. He and his best friend become sworn enemies every other day, for about 3 hours. I swear they act like teenage girls!

At a loss on this  one…

When I was little I was not a crier – I was a screamer. Oh, I was SUCH a brat, lol…I harassed the shit out of my older brothers. But to be honest they were pretty mean in return.

I remember the biggest trouble I got in  at 6 years old: my brothers bikes had been stolen, so one day my brother Ryan took off on my bike, pink streamers flying from the handlebars. I was so upset I stood in the middle of the street and screamed after him the worst thing I could think of. “YOU…..ASSHOLE!” and then I ran into the woods and hid because I thought the neighbors might tell on me saying bad words.

Turns out, I screamed so loud that my dad heard me from inside the house. Oops!

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Ambitions.

December 1, 2010

6:30 AM, Saturday morning.

“Mom, we need to learn how to be a star!”

“Why? Do you want to be a star?”

“I AM a star, I’m fabulous! I mean famous. Or both…What happens when you’re both?”

“You get your own TV show.”

“Okay then, I wanna be Johnny Quest! His turn is over.”

The day he became a man…

August 10, 2009

My son just yelled from the bathroom, “Mommy I wish there was a potty in the living room!”

“Why is that?”

“So I can watch TV while I go!” he responded happily. “Wouldn’t that be AWESOME?”

Yeesh.

No Means No!

July 7, 2009

Fourth of July – officially another holiday to spend money on. Sigh…

I could do what most people were doing: load down my car with lots of towels, blankets, drinks, food, sparklers, chairs, sunscreen, bug spray, bottles of water, extra clothes, camera, batteries for the camera, change for tolls, cash for snacks, etc etc.

Instead, I opted to take advantage of my son’s 4-year old viewpoint of the world, wherein he doesn’t yet know what he’s missing out on. So goes the life of the single mom on a budget!

Anyway, this meant one short trip to the grocery store where we got some popcorn, drinks, and he got to help me pick out fireworks.  Of course, being 4, he already has expensive tastes.

“OOH! We need THIS ONE!” (pointing to the huge rockets that are 30 bucks)

“No.”

“HEY! Look at THIS!!!” (huge variety pack of huge rockets, conveniently priced at fifty bucks)

“No.”

“But we NEED it…!”

“No.”

At this point I’m just saying no out of habit. Sometimes I catch myself doing that without even thinking. The problem is, if after I say “no”, I waffle even a little, he jumps on it and becomes unbearably whiny, going for the chinks in my Mommy-armor.  That’s why sometimes I’ll say no to things not really paying attention, just reflex. This time, however, there’s a good reason; fifty dollars worth.

Anyway, to distract his attention from the the HUGE rockets, I showed him the GREAT, REALLY COOL multi-packs available. With a little bit of enthusiastic prodding, he was able to see that ten (tiny) glitter fountains are WAY cooler than the rockets.

Why? 

Because there are MORE of them. And MORE is BETTER!

I love kid logic, especially when it works to my wallet’s advantage. =)

So, once we got home he was desperate to shoot them all off now. Now! NOW!

I explained that we have to wait until it’s dark outside. He looked at me like I had just sprouted five heads and a purple tail.

Every five minutes: “Is it dark enough yet?”

“No.”

“Is it dark enough yet?”

“No.”

“NOW is it dark enough?”

“Yes.”

“REALLY?”

“No.”

I’m so mean, lol.

I finally gave in and we went out and played with sparklers for awhile. I’m disappointed by sparklers these days – I remember them lasting a lot longer. I absolutely loved sparklers as a kid, but the ones they make now are so cheap and spark for about a minute and a half (listen to me, old lady, wheezing, “…back in MY day…”).  But we made the best of it.

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Once it FINALLY got dark, Nick started streaking through the house, shrieking, “It’s dark now! Firework time! Mommy, COME ON! It’s FIREWORK time!!”

DSCN1321So we set off all of out cool fireworks….which took all of ten minutes…but luckily my helpful neighbors had apparently re-mortgaged their house to enjoy their own great fireworks, so they more than made up for the low-end models I had picked out.

Nick and I were cheering the fireworks, and…swear to god…he started doing the Arsenio Hall ‘woot woot woot’. I laughed so hard, and finally was able to ask where he learned to do that.

He shrugged, “I don’t know. I guess I just picked it up somewhere.”

The Pre-K Inquisition

December 12, 2008

Riding home in the car today, my son (he’s 4), who had spent the last twenty minutes chattering about monkeys and motorcycles, pipes up,

“Are trees what happen when the grass gets really big?”

 

“Are you going to have another baby in your belly?”

 

“Do you think that bird lives in the clouds?”

 

“How do the planes stay up in the air?”

 

“I don’t want to be a daddy when I’m big, because daddies have beards, and they’re scratchy!”

 

“After you get bigger and bigger and growed up, do you start to get smaller and smaller?”

 

I think my head’s going to explode some days…not only do I not always know the answers to these questions; but even the ones I do know, I have to figure out ways to explain so he’ll understand! 

I love that he’s so inquisitive, but sometimes when I’m making dinner or on the phone, when faced with: “Why does the cat have hair between his toes?”, the answer is, “I just don’t know.”

And that seems to satisfy him.

 

For now, anyway.

Here comes Santa Claus…

November 12, 2008

Well I saw it yesterday – first big Christmas display (that I’ve noticed)!

Damn Hallmark, it’s not even Thanksgiving yet!

Secretly though it makes me happy because I love Christmas.

I especially love Christmas movies….well except for A Christmas Story, lol. I get a lot of flak for that.

Last year one of the radio stations started playing 24 hours of Christmas music a couple of weeks after Halloween. Okay, now I like Christmas music, but that’s taking it a little too far! I can only stand hearing Christina Aguilera sing “Santa Baby” so many times! Ok, once is enough, but that’s beside the point.

I’m thinking about taking a little road trip this winter so the boy can see some snow. He keeps asking me when the sky is going to let him make a snowman.

Around here, that’ll probably about the same time I win the lottery and my cat stops leaping onto my stomach while I’m asleep, haha.

Tell me why…

September 9, 2008

Why…is it, that on this wonderful night when my son is with my mom…all I want to do is watch a movie (all the way through with no interruptions) and then go to sleep (in peace, no fuss, no reading Dr Seuss again. And again. And again.)?

Why…does my car seem to drop another piece of itself every week? This week it’s the cover for the turn signal. Just – gone. I think it’s leaving a ‘trail of breadcrumbs’ to someone who will appreciate it.

Why…aren’t people more open-minded? Why is everything cut-and-dried, that’s it, you’re wrong, I’m right?  They need to roll their windows down for once and see the great big wide world outside that has so many intricacies, nooks and crannies, and things that are good and bad and lovely and ugly all at once…

Why…is it so hard to make a travel coffee cup that doesn’t splatter everywhere when you try to open the lid?

Why…are there so many lonely people in the world, when there are so many other lonely people in the world? Are they too desperate to look around and find one another?

Why…are there 30 kinds of orange juice in the store? Do we really need one glass of juice to give us varying levels of pulp, antioxidants, calcium, multivitamins? And have you tasted that stuff? It’s all shite. 

Why…am I so offended by the ‘cereal-with-milk-bars’? What’s next, a meat stick with mashed potato and veggie coating?

Why…do some people see only the bad, and others only the good? Are they both blind, or just lazy?

Why…am I not out doing something stupid?

 

What to expect…

May 16, 2007

How much is a babysitter worth to you?

This whole Maddie thing….I know her parents are getting enough grief for it already, but to leave a four year old and 2 two year olds alone while you go have dinner??

 I sometimes can’t even trust my two year old while I take a shower!  Five minutes later he’s taking off down the driveway shouting ‘HEWWO, doggies!’ to the dogs across the street.  

I do understand, I suppose. Sometimes you get to a comfort level and think you know what to expect from little kids/ babies because of what they haven’t done yet..They can’t run yet, or talk yet, or play Mozart on the piano like you want them to.

But that’s exactly when they’ll decide to roll off the bed, waddle out the door, or try to put the cat in the toilet! 

Or, like my son, figure out how to climb up on the counter and dump all the cat food out, then get some permanent markers, open them up, and draw on the walls. Who knew (I think he was just biding his time) he was so ‘talented’.

Anyway,  I hope they find that little girl.  That’s got to be one of the worst things to go through.

The Edumacation of the Small Ones

March 8, 2007
So my little guy is going to a new daycare.  I’m not thrilled with him having to go at all, but hey. Anyhoo, he was all excited about “school” and seemed happy to go.

Day one:  He came home all excited  and said it was fun. Then his face got sad, and he said seriously, “I cried.”
“Why? What happened?” I asked.
He sighed heavily and replied, “He hit me. The boy hit me.”
I didn’t want to make a big deal and make him more upset about it, so I played it cool. In reality, I wanted to find this evil child and put the smackdown on him for hurting my baby. Calming, deep breath…. “But you’re okay now?”
“Yeah, I all better,” he said, smiling. Good.
Day two:  He had lots of fun, he said, but then…”I cried.”
“Why? What happened?” I asked, feeling a little deja vu.
He sighed and replied, “He pushed me. The boy pushed me.”
“Are you okay now?”
“Yeah, mommy, I okay.” He smiled sweetly, making me want to go find that little bully and tell him what’s what.
Day three:  Again, big fun at school, but then…”I cried.”
By now I was getting aggravated with this boy who kept hurting my baby. I was ready to get upset, but instead I kept to the script. “Why? What happened?”
He looked down at the ground, and then said indignantly, “He kicked me BACK!”
So there.