Archive for the ‘Childhood’ Category

It’s just not the same.

January 29, 2013

He’s lately begun to be scared of the dark…I know it’s a valid fear, and I remember it myself. But it’s hard for me to remember that, when it didn’t used to bother him. I get frustrated if he won’t go get his lunchbox out of the car at night (seriously 1.5 feet from the side door) or stand on the front porch to let the puppy out.

These are times I truly wish I wasn’t doing the single mom thing, so he could “man up” and learn to deal with his fears better than I can teach him to. When he’s around my guy friends I can literally see him do this…lowering his voice, acting tougher, and telling all his best stories of the moment. Unfortunately his dad is not visiting as much as we all know he should, and so he enjoys all the male attention he can get.

I try to teach him about life, machines, science…go camping…build things…but I know it’s not the same for him. And this is the BEST time for his dad to be teaching his this kind of thing. Instead he doesn’t call, doesn’t visit, and my little boy is hurt and sad. When he was a baby I vowed to never speak ill of his dad in front of him. I’d seen so many ugly divorces and breakups, and knew it would be wrong to air all that to a child. Honestly, I don’t hate the guy…I’ve accepted that he’s selfish, immature, and whiny, and that he’ll never pay me support, or bother to call his son on a holiday, or even ask how he’s doing when we’re on the phone. I know that he does love him, but needs to grow up and get it together before this little boy is a teenager and has totally given up on him.

Until then, we’re gonna go climb trees and make forts. So there.

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Sensitivity Traininng Not Required.

July 13, 2011

He used to be so tough! He would fall flat on his face, get up, and keep running. Some punk toddler would shove him and he’d frown then walk away.

Now…he cries.

A lot.

He’s 6 and SOO sensitive I don’t know what to do.  Somebody looks at him funny and he gets his feelings hurt. I get upset when he asks for the 45th time if he can ride his bike…and he cries because I’m upset. He gets a paper cut and doesn’t cry about until I don’t notice that he has an infinitesimally tiny cut on his finger. He and his best friend become sworn enemies every other day, for about 3 hours. I swear they act like teenage girls!

At a loss on this  one…

When I was little I was not a crier – I was a screamer. Oh, I was SUCH a brat, lol…I harassed the shit out of my older brothers. But to be honest they were pretty mean in return.

I remember the biggest trouble I got in  at 6 years old: my brothers bikes had been stolen, so one day my brother Ryan took off on my bike, pink streamers flying from the handlebars. I was so upset I stood in the middle of the street and screamed after him the worst thing I could think of. “YOU…..ASSHOLE!” and then I ran into the woods and hid because I thought the neighbors might tell on me saying bad words.

Turns out, I screamed so loud that my dad heard me from inside the house. Oops!

The poet speaks…

March 24, 2011

Nicholas just informed me he wants to “go outside to feel the wind blowing in my soul.”

What he really means is that he wants to go play swords, tear his pants, roll in the mud, dig a tunnel to the middle of the earth, and ride his bike until his legs fall off. Whichever happens first.

Ambitions.

December 1, 2010

6:30 AM, Saturday morning.

“Mom, we need to learn how to be a star!”

“Why? Do you want to be a star?”

“I AM a star, I’m fabulous! I mean famous. Or both…What happens when you’re both?”

“You get your own TV show.”

“Okay then, I wanna be Johnny Quest! His turn is over.”

Parental logic at its best…

May 13, 2010

“Mommy, how do people get on TV?”

“Well, they’re actors, and  they try out for parts on show or movies…”

“NO, I mean HOW do they show them IN the TV?? Like get it to play on our TV, when they’re far away?”

“Umm, well I’m pretty sure they shoot the shows with a laser gun and then blast it our TV.”

“….Like on Willy Wonka?”

“Yes, exactly.”

The day he became a man…

August 10, 2009

My son just yelled from the bathroom, “Mommy I wish there was a potty in the living room!”

“Why is that?”

“So I can watch TV while I go!” he responded happily. “Wouldn’t that be AWESOME?”

Yeesh.

No Means No!

July 7, 2009

Fourth of July – officially another holiday to spend money on. Sigh…

I could do what most people were doing: load down my car with lots of towels, blankets, drinks, food, sparklers, chairs, sunscreen, bug spray, bottles of water, extra clothes, camera, batteries for the camera, change for tolls, cash for snacks, etc etc.

Instead, I opted to take advantage of my son’s 4-year old viewpoint of the world, wherein he doesn’t yet know what he’s missing out on. So goes the life of the single mom on a budget!

Anyway, this meant one short trip to the grocery store where we got some popcorn, drinks, and he got to help me pick out fireworks.  Of course, being 4, he already has expensive tastes.

“OOH! We need THIS ONE!” (pointing to the huge rockets that are 30 bucks)

“No.”

“HEY! Look at THIS!!!” (huge variety pack of huge rockets, conveniently priced at fifty bucks)

“No.”

“But we NEED it…!”

“No.”

At this point I’m just saying no out of habit. Sometimes I catch myself doing that without even thinking. The problem is, if after I say “no”, I waffle even a little, he jumps on it and becomes unbearably whiny, going for the chinks in my Mommy-armor.  That’s why sometimes I’ll say no to things not really paying attention, just reflex. This time, however, there’s a good reason; fifty dollars worth.

Anyway, to distract his attention from the the HUGE rockets, I showed him the GREAT, REALLY COOL multi-packs available. With a little bit of enthusiastic prodding, he was able to see that ten (tiny) glitter fountains are WAY cooler than the rockets.

Why? 

Because there are MORE of them. And MORE is BETTER!

I love kid logic, especially when it works to my wallet’s advantage. =)

So, once we got home he was desperate to shoot them all off now. Now! NOW!

I explained that we have to wait until it’s dark outside. He looked at me like I had just sprouted five heads and a purple tail.

Every five minutes: “Is it dark enough yet?”

“No.”

“Is it dark enough yet?”

“No.”

“NOW is it dark enough?”

“Yes.”

“REALLY?”

“No.”

I’m so mean, lol.

I finally gave in and we went out and played with sparklers for awhile. I’m disappointed by sparklers these days – I remember them lasting a lot longer. I absolutely loved sparklers as a kid, but the ones they make now are so cheap and spark for about a minute and a half (listen to me, old lady, wheezing, “…back in MY day…”).  But we made the best of it.

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Once it FINALLY got dark, Nick started streaking through the house, shrieking, “It’s dark now! Firework time! Mommy, COME ON! It’s FIREWORK time!!”

DSCN1321So we set off all of out cool fireworks….which took all of ten minutes…but luckily my helpful neighbors had apparently re-mortgaged their house to enjoy their own great fireworks, so they more than made up for the low-end models I had picked out.

Nick and I were cheering the fireworks, and…swear to god…he started doing the Arsenio Hall ‘woot woot woot’. I laughed so hard, and finally was able to ask where he learned to do that.

He shrugged, “I don’t know. I guess I just picked it up somewhere.”

There’s your sign, kid!

January 14, 2009

Number one sign your child is playing
too many online games at Mickey Mouse Clubhouse:

While fighting outside with his invisible
pirate friends, he yells out to them:

“C’mon guys!  Use your mouse and
arrow keys to help out!”

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The Pre-K Inquisition

December 12, 2008

Riding home in the car today, my son (he’s 4), who had spent the last twenty minutes chattering about monkeys and motorcycles, pipes up,

“Are trees what happen when the grass gets really big?”

 

“Are you going to have another baby in your belly?”

 

“Do you think that bird lives in the clouds?”

 

“How do the planes stay up in the air?”

 

“I don’t want to be a daddy when I’m big, because daddies have beards, and they’re scratchy!”

 

“After you get bigger and bigger and growed up, do you start to get smaller and smaller?”

 

I think my head’s going to explode some days…not only do I not always know the answers to these questions; but even the ones I do know, I have to figure out ways to explain so he’ll understand! 

I love that he’s so inquisitive, but sometimes when I’m making dinner or on the phone, when faced with: “Why does the cat have hair between his toes?”, the answer is, “I just don’t know.”

And that seems to satisfy him.

 

For now, anyway.

Tell me why…

September 9, 2008

Why…is it, that on this wonderful night when my son is with my mom…all I want to do is watch a movie (all the way through with no interruptions) and then go to sleep (in peace, no fuss, no reading Dr Seuss again. And again. And again.)?

Why…does my car seem to drop another piece of itself every week? This week it’s the cover for the turn signal. Just – gone. I think it’s leaving a ‘trail of breadcrumbs’ to someone who will appreciate it.

Why…aren’t people more open-minded? Why is everything cut-and-dried, that’s it, you’re wrong, I’m right?  They need to roll their windows down for once and see the great big wide world outside that has so many intricacies, nooks and crannies, and things that are good and bad and lovely and ugly all at once…

Why…is it so hard to make a travel coffee cup that doesn’t splatter everywhere when you try to open the lid?

Why…are there so many lonely people in the world, when there are so many other lonely people in the world? Are they too desperate to look around and find one another?

Why…are there 30 kinds of orange juice in the store? Do we really need one glass of juice to give us varying levels of pulp, antioxidants, calcium, multivitamins? And have you tasted that stuff? It’s all shite. 

Why…am I so offended by the ‘cereal-with-milk-bars’? What’s next, a meat stick with mashed potato and veggie coating?

Why…do some people see only the bad, and others only the good? Are they both blind, or just lazy?

Why…am I not out doing something stupid?