The Perfect Banana…

Read this online today…reminds me of some little boy I know!

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How to Choose the Perfect Banana:
A Practical Guide for Kids

First, it’s important to be totally ageist when it comes to bananas. Are there age spots?

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Yes? Sick. REJECT IT.

Next, bananas must have a completely uniform yellow. This banana?

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Too green AND there’s a spot. REJECT IT. Also, start crying.

Finally, when you find the perfect specimen,

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peel it.ID-10038090

Now it’s open and you can see the stringy bits. In other words, it’s RUINED. REJECT IT. Your parents will try to convince you it’s fine. They’re wrong; it’s not. It’s up to you to prove it; tear it, bite it, lick it, suck on it, squish it, step on it, shove it under the couch. No matter what, do NOT actually eat it.

So. How to Choose a Perfect Banana?

THIS IS A TRICK. There is no perfect banana.

Your parents just want to ruin your life.

The End

……….

Source: http://putdowntheurinalcake.com/

 

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