Archive for April, 2009

A Map, you say?

April 29, 2009
How do you spell lost?

I think it’s something like “F$$$&#(@$*#:()$ D!@#$*!!!!!!”

Yeah, I got MORE lost tonight than I ever have in my entire life. I spent 2 hours driving up and down roads trying to find my way, turning around, and eventually realized I was headed back home.

Stop for directions, you say?

Well that would go a lot smoother if there was ANYTHING at all at the exits I pulled off.

Check the map?

Ermmm, don’t have one.

Call someone for help?

Nope, phone battery died 20 minutes down the road.

Car charger?

Ah, hmm, someone small and curious broke it last month.

The only person with me was my 4 yr old son (see: small and curious culprit), who tried to be a helpful navigator┬áby piping up with, “Mommy, I think you’re going the WRONG way!” and “Can we just go home?” and my personal favorite, “Why don’t we just look at the map?”

Tomorrow, I get one of those GPS thingies.

Oh, and repair the damage to my steering wheel from banging my head on it.

Imagination is for people who don’t dream…

April 27, 2009
I’m tired.

Esshausted, actually.

This can all be blamed on:

-my over-active imagination
-too much Medium/CSI/Cold Case-type shows
-boredom
-a big, rambling, mostly empty house
-my uncanny ability to remember freaky details of my dreams

This means when I have a freaky dream, I wake myself up out of it, think “Damn that was freaky!”, then go back to sleep and ‘remember’ the dream all over again.

A couple of nights ago I watched some show that detailed the Black Dahlia murder from decades ago. Curious because I’d heard it mentioned before but never knew the details, I kept watching. Bad idea (shudddder)!

So of course I had nightmares about that. Yay, that was fun! Surprisingly, it didn’t hurt, and afterwards I had a nice chat with someone about how it was done.I have 2 older brothers, and when I was younger they always wanted to watch the scariest shows on TV. I didn’t want to, but I knew that if I acted scared I’d never hear the end of it, so I watched anyway. I can still remember MANY entire scenes from some of those movies in detail (shudder). Dark hallways still creep me out! I’m such a chicken sometimes.

But I did learn some good life lessons…I know that if I ever see green smoke coming out of a door that is slowly creaking open, well then I probably shouldn’t go check it out.

If little tiny crazed men are chewing through the door, and the phone is melting…maybe don’t stay in the house and hide in a closet?

And if I ever realize that all my friends are hanging from trees in pieces, then NOW is a good time to run.

And not upstairs, either.