Ode to Office Boredom

“These office supplies don’t steal themselves, folks!”

The other day I was standing at the copier at work.

All day long.

In cute but painful shoes.

Bored out of my mind.

You see, I was assigned the funfunbigfun task of scanning 100-page files into the copier. There were 20 stacks of these lovelylovelybigfun files.


I had to stand there while everything scanned (all day long) (in my painful shoes)(stopping anyone who walked by to chat).

Eventually I pulled out my phone and checked my email, horrorscope, read the news, DearAbby, and then googled ‘death by boredom’.

Next I played three games of monopoly and kicked ass twice. That top hat just can’t keep it together!

Finally, in desperation, this is what I turned to:


This is the office supply drawer for the area I was in. It holds wonderful treasures such as paperclips, binder clips, tape, post-its, broken pencils, and one fuzzy Halls cough drop.

Even though I eventually started to get hungry, I was able to resist the cough drop because of this:

Our megasized jar-o-mini-chocolate-bars! This was the reason everyone stopped to chat with me. At some point in the conversation, they’d oh-so-casually lean over and grab one as if it were an afterthought.

Sure, whatever you say. I know people who plan errands to that hallway just to hit the candy jar. I used to be one of them!

Anyway, in between candy hits and gossip, I started working with what I had at my disposal. My first efforts produced this:


Binder Clip Dragon. He may look ferocious, but he only eats paper. And the occasional finger or facial projection.

Next I set up the clips and some handy Reese’s cups to play ‘chess’….

Then I realized that I had no one to play with, and I don’t really like chess anyway.

So instead I made some flowers

You can’t tell from these cell-phone pictures, but the flowers turned out amazingly lifelike and beautiful.

Later I tried to fit myself into the cabinets so I could take a nap. It worked until the file I had been scanning jammed up and the whole machine caught on fire and burnt itself to a crisp.   Then they had to evacuate the building and send everyone home with two weeks paid vacation.

  Ok, that was me dreaming…but it was nice.


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