Calling all Career Counselors!

So today I decided I need a new career.

Right now, I have a job, but not really a career.  I’m not really cut out to be an accountant because
A) I’m terrible at math, and
3) My organizational skills aren’t the best, and
Last) I don’t want to.

One of my favorite movies is “Working Girl”.  I admire the drive, ambition, and guts it takes to make it as a top “man” in the corporate world. It’s just not for me.

So these are the careers I was considering today, along with their pros and cons.

1.  Exotic Dancer. This is a natural choice for me because I am a woman (although I’ve heard this isn’t a requirement), and I have boobs.  However, my wobbly bits might not make for the best show, whilst shakin around to “Pour Some Sugar on Me”.  And….well…ugh. That guy in the second row is creeping me out.

2.  Dentist. Yeah, this one has no ‘pros’. Just ‘aagghs!’ No, thank you.  Plus, the whole drill thing….(shudder!)

3.  Carpenter/ Handyman.  I love building things and working on projects.  I can even swing a hammer decently.  Just don’t ask me to hang a swing from really high tree. I did that today…and to be honest, it ended up looking like a short, crosseyed  clown hung it up there.  It works fine;  jus’ don’t look too purty.

4.  Doctor.  I think I could’ve done this had I started planning for it in high school…but now I have a few complications, i.e. small child, and lack of funds and time to commit to school.  Of course, most doctors that I’ve been to see spend so few actual minutes with their patients, that I’m sure I could wing it for awhile using big words and talking really fast.

5.  Shoe Shiner.  Do people actually get their shoes shined anymore? It seems like today’s consumerist mentality is more apt to just toss ’em and buy new shinier shoes. And for that matter, would Shoe Shiners use the words ‘consumerist mentality’? And is ‘consumerist’ an actual word? If not, I declare it so, because I like it.  You know what I mean anyway.

6.  New-Word-Maker-Upper.  This is something I actually have a quite a talent for.  I tend to have what my family calls ‘brain farts’ where I forget what word I’m trying to say, so I just make one up.  For example, a few minutes ago, I used the word ‘consumerist’ in a blog I was writing.  This talent is also helpful while playing Scrabble, because I can also be convincing about the meaning of my new words.

7.  Movie Reviewer.  I’ve seen a lot of movies. I have opinions about them.  I can write complete sentences.  How perfect is that??

8. “Professional” Blogger.  Writing whatever I want, whenever I want. Lots of kudos for the wittier stuff.  ….Ah, crap, I forgot–there’s no paycheck.  Forget it.

9.  Farmer.  Now, this would be nice. Animals, nature, getting up at dawn to milk the cows, plucking chickens and shoveling after the horses….hmm. Let’s change that to….

10.  Wealthy-Person-Who-Lives-on-a-Beautiful-and-Rugged-Ranch-Run-by-Other-People.  Now we’re talking.  Of course, the Wealthy part could be a problem.  That would mean I’d either have to win the Lottery or find a lucrative Career.  Maybe I should make a list of possible careers…

Edited note.  Damn. It’s a real word. Guess I’ll have to reconsider #6. ” …Consumerist is a term used to describe the effects of equating personal happiness with purchasing material possessions and consumption. It is often associated with criticisms of consumption starting with Karl Marx and Thorstein Veblen. Consumerism is also used to describe the social effects of demand side economic policies associated with Keynesian economics.

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