Archive for March, 2007

Calling all Career Counselors!

March 31, 2007

So today I decided I need a new career.

Right now, I have a job, but not really a career.  I’m not really cut out to be an accountant because
A) I’m terrible at math, and
3) My organizational skills aren’t the best, and
Last) I don’t want to.

One of my favorite movies is “Working Girl”.  I admire the drive, ambition, and guts it takes to make it as a top “man” in the corporate world. It’s just not for me.

So these are the careers I was considering today, along with their pros and cons.

1.  Exotic Dancer. This is a natural choice for me because I am a woman (although I’ve heard this isn’t a requirement), and I have boobs.  However, my wobbly bits might not make for the best show, whilst shakin around to “Pour Some Sugar on Me”.  And….well…ugh. That guy in the second row is creeping me out.

2.  Dentist. Yeah, this one has no ‘pros’. Just ‘aagghs!’ No, thank you.  Plus, the whole drill thing….(shudder!)

3.  Carpenter/ Handyman.  I love building things and working on projects.  I can even swing a hammer decently.  Just don’t ask me to hang a swing from really high tree. I did that today…and to be honest, it ended up looking like a short, crosseyed  clown hung it up there.  It works fine;  jus’ don’t look too purty.

4.  Doctor.  I think I could’ve done this had I started planning for it in high school…but now I have a few complications, i.e. small child, and lack of funds and time to commit to school.  Of course, most doctors that I’ve been to see spend so few actual minutes with their patients, that I’m sure I could wing it for awhile using big words and talking really fast.

5.  Shoe Shiner.  Do people actually get their shoes shined anymore? It seems like today’s consumerist mentality is more apt to just toss ’em and buy new shinier shoes. And for that matter, would Shoe Shiners use the words ‘consumerist mentality’? And is ‘consumerist’ an actual word? If not, I declare it so, because I like it.  You know what I mean anyway.

6.  New-Word-Maker-Upper.  This is something I actually have a quite a talent for.  I tend to have what my family calls ‘brain farts’ where I forget what word I’m trying to say, so I just make one up.  For example, a few minutes ago, I used the word ‘consumerist’ in a blog I was writing.  This talent is also helpful while playing Scrabble, because I can also be convincing about the meaning of my new words.

7.  Movie Reviewer.  I’ve seen a lot of movies. I have opinions about them.  I can write complete sentences.  How perfect is that??

8. “Professional” Blogger.  Writing whatever I want, whenever I want. Lots of kudos for the wittier stuff.  ….Ah, crap, I forgot–there’s no paycheck.  Forget it.

9.  Farmer.  Now, this would be nice. Animals, nature, getting up at dawn to milk the cows, plucking chickens and shoveling after the horses….hmm. Let’s change that to….

10.  Wealthy-Person-Who-Lives-on-a-Beautiful-and-Rugged-Ranch-Run-by-Other-People.  Now we’re talking.  Of course, the Wealthy part could be a problem.  That would mean I’d either have to win the Lottery or find a lucrative Career.  Maybe I should make a list of possible careers…

Edited note.  Damn. It’s a real word. Guess I’ll have to reconsider #6. ” …Consumerist is a term used to describe the effects of equating personal happiness with purchasing material possessions and consumption. It is often associated with criticisms of consumption starting with Karl Marx and Thorstein Veblen. Consumerism is also used to describe the social effects of demand side economic policies associated with Keynesian economics.


A rant, a rave, a copier dance

March 23, 2007

Ugh. Work.

At my current job, I feel like this everyday by around 3 o’clock:

Don’t get me wrong….I like my job. It’s not my chosen career, and it can be mind-numbingly boring sometimes, but I do like it.

Mostly because it’s a job. Which means money to pay the bills. Always a plus there.

Today I stood at the copier all day long. About eighty percent of my job description is to stand there and sort, stack, and scan tax files into the copier server. Among other random stuff, that’s what I do.

Very exciting, of course.

I can tell you’re all very jealous already!


The problem:  when other people need to copy or scan something, they give me the evil eye/ sigh heavily/ make a stupid comment because I’m ‘always at the copier‘, i.e., in their way.


To add insult to injury, they expect me to stop whatever I’m doing and let them go ahead of me. I don’t know if it’s because I’m younger, newer, or just not as ‘important’ as they. Usually, I go ahead and let them.

Not today. I stood my ground, kept on working, and smiled sweetly with an, “I’ll be done in just a sec!”

I got a lot of surprised looks, a few huffs, and a few hoverers, but mostly people turned and walked 10 feet to the other copier machine.

Who knew? Look, the other one works, too!! Wow.

So there.

Dreaming of green…

March 14, 2007

Ode to Saint Patrick’s Day

Shamrocks and leprechauns
Green stuff galore
After I drink a pint of green beer
I really don’t want any more!

So in a couple days it will be St. Patrick’s Day. I’ve even  declared it a major holiday this year, just because I can.

Sidenote: I’m still hoping for a decent Easter, but you just never know. The Bunny can be rather fickle. One year it’s a solid, two-foot chocolate bunny…and the next it’s a hollow, choco-flavored hare with a side of black jellybeans.

So for all of you history buffs, here’s a quick recap of the history of St. Patrick’s day. For those who don’t care, just scroll on down to where I ramble on some more…

“The person who was to become St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, was born in Wales about AD 385. His given name was Maewyn, and he almost didn’t get the job of bishop of Ireland because he lacked the required scholarship. His mission was to convert the native pagans to Christianity.  (blah, blah, blah, lots of details here….)Thirty years later, he adopted that Christian name Patrick, and was then appointed as second bishop to Ireland.

His mission in Ireland lasted for thirty years. After that time, Patrick retired to County Down. He died on March 17 in AD 461. That day has been commemorated as St. Patrick’s Day ever since.

Much Irish folklore surrounds St. Patrick’s Day. Not much of it is actually substantiated.

The St. Patrick’s Day custom came to America in 1737. That was the first year St. Patrick’s Day was publicly celebrated in this country, in Boston.

Today, people celebrate the day with parades, wearing of the green, and drinking beer. One reason St. Patrick’s Day might have become so popular is that it takes place just a few days before the first day of spring. One might say it has become the first green of spring. “

Wow. I feel more learn-ed every day!

It’s amazing the things you can find out when you know how to type. And have a computer. And the internet.

Anyway, McGuire’s had their St. Patrick’s 5K run last weekend through Pensacola.  I didn’t get to attend, but the pictures make me really want to have gone…almost 8,000 people decked out in green clothes and funny hats and running all over town.

I don’t know who won. But I bet the winners do. So good job you guys!

After the race is when the real fun begins:  the race to the beer taps!

I even heard that some people would pay the registration fee but not run the race; they just wanted to get into the afterparty.  Now that’s dedication to some nasty green beer!

Speaking of dedication, here are a few dedicated Army fellows who ran the race…

And while we’re on the subject of green, here’s another greenie:

Kermit is cool.

And it’s not easy being green.

That’s all I have to say about that.

And for my final ode to green things…a little something from my local news on the radio yesterday:

“Pensacola teenagers found about 28 pounds of marijuana on the side of road along Blue Angel Parkway this weekend.
They were picking up trash and discovered 20 pounds of it in plastic bags in one location and found 8 more pounds several miles down the road. Authorities say the street value of the marijuana is between twenty five and fifty thousand dollars.  They don’t know who the owner of the drugs is, but authorities say the whoever it belongs to is welcome to call the Sheriff’s Office and claim it.”

Yes, I’m sure they’ll be calling real soon.

The Edumacation of the Small Ones

March 8, 2007
So my little guy is going to a new daycare.  I’m not thrilled with him having to go at all, but hey. Anyhoo, he was all excited about “school” and seemed happy to go.

Day one:  He came home all excited  and said it was fun. Then his face got sad, and he said seriously, “I cried.”
“Why? What happened?” I asked.
He sighed heavily and replied, “He hit me. The boy hit me.”
I didn’t want to make a big deal and make him more upset about it, so I played it cool. In reality, I wanted to find this evil child and put the smackdown on him for hurting my baby. Calming, deep breath…. “But you’re okay now?”
“Yeah, I all better,” he said, smiling. Good.
Day two:  He had lots of fun, he said, but then…”I cried.”
“Why? What happened?” I asked, feeling a little deja vu.
He sighed and replied, “He pushed me. The boy pushed me.”
“Are you okay now?”
“Yeah, mommy, I okay.” He smiled sweetly, making me want to go find that little bully and tell him what’s what.
Day three:  Again, big fun at school, but then…”I cried.”
By now I was getting aggravated with this boy who kept hurting my baby. I was ready to get upset, but instead I kept to the script. “Why? What happened?”
He looked down at the ground, and then said indignantly, “He kicked me BACK!”
So there.